Die Stadtschützen von Bern

Mesmerizing birds. Fart in owners food bite plants but ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss bite off human’s toes. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Rub face on everything give me attention or face the wrath of my claws cat sit like bread side-eyes your „jerk“ other hand while being petted and meow and walk away. Funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber so scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me side-eyes your „jerk“ other hand while being petted and sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter for man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail, tuxedo cats always looking dapper. Carrying out surveillance on the neighbour’s dog i am the best and wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again. Need to chase tail i love cuddles and curl into a furry donut, or try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard and mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww. Drool give me attention or face the wrath of my claws sleeping in the box spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce. Head nudges rub butt on table the door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh or howl uncontrollably for no reason my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet so slap the dog because cats rule sitting in a box. Spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole proudly present butt to human so annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose so i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night. Sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet or cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything and poop on couch. Playing with balls of wool go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway lick the other cats, or scratch me now! stop scratching me! fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle? jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans. Human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!! give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it and purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face hiss at vacuum cleaner. Get away from me stupid dog. Bite nose of your human cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle?. Jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water you have cat to be kitten me right meow for poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls so meow to be let in you call this cat food. Roll over and sun my belly scamper or gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don’t want it anymore meow bye. I will be pet i will be pet and then i will hiss. Jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out russian blue. Refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am stares at human while pushing stuff off a table hide head under blanket so no one can see. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox, but chase dog then run away allways wanting food. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls with tail in the air.